Staying Connected with Family Serving in Iraq

January 2009

Jill Braceland's volunteer work keeps her close to her sons.

After 9/11, Jill Braceland's two sons joined the Massachusetts National Guard. When her son, James, was deployed to Iraq in 2004, Braceland sought a way to navigate this uncharted water. She found answers and support through the Family Readiness Group (FRG) of the 727 Chemical Corps of the MA National Guard. "As a mother, there was no way for me to fully understand my son's culture in the Guard," explains Braceland, a diversity and work life specialist in MITRE's human resources Quality of Work Life and Benefits division. "But I wanted to stay informed about what was going on with him, so when he was deployed, I looked into joining the FRG."

The FRG serves a broad purpose. It helps commanders maintain service member readiness, supports families new to the Guard, and helps family members develop a positive attitude toward themselves, the unit, the deployment, and the military. Each unit's FRG is supported by the National Guard Family Program, which has a mission "to establish and facilitate ongoing communication, involvement, support, and recognition between Guard families and the Guard in a partnership that promotes the best in both."

Braceland quickly became one of the key volunteers within the FRG, helping organize events and activities for family members. "Having a family member deployed is an isolating time," she says. "Unless you have someone "over there," there is no way to understand the subtle but constant stress." The impact of a family member being deployed influences families in every way—financially, emotionally, physically, and psychologically. "My sons went to war, but I was mentally deployed with them," she adds.

Communication as a Motivator

In June of 2007, Braceland's youngest son, Todd, was deployed with the 972 Military Police to Iraq. This time, Braceland, who describes herself as a communicator, volunteered to write a monthly newsletter for the families left behind. "I thought, I can sit back and worry about what is happening in Iraq, or I can do something positive and get information to share with all the family members in my son's unit." Each month, Braceland received information from the commander to include in the newsletter as a way to provide families with a glimpse of life in Iraq. She also made an extra effort to include information about the National Guard's services and activities, including upcoming social events and meetings. The newsletter was a source of support for anyone involved with members of the National Guard unit. It was e-mailed to more than 135 people, and a hardcopy was sent to 140 more of the family members in Todd's unit.

Braceland also played an active role in the monthly meetings. "Monthly meetings were sometimes informational, with special speakers to discuss services available to family members, such as financial, legal, and medical services," she says. "But often the meetings were purely social—we would all meet and enjoy some refreshments and each others' company."

"By volunteering a second time around, I had access to other mothers in the same boat, and it gave me a chance to do something with my experience from James' earlier Guard duty," she shares. "I could offer my different perspectives on the experience. We were all there for each other, and I formed some wonderful friendships in the group."

Deployment is a special time in the lives of the soldiers and their families. Just as a bond of brothers and sisters forms within each unit, those at home share a bond. "When we had family events, it was interesting to watch the children connect with each other—not having to explain why Daddy or Mommy was away," says Braceland. "It was hardest to see the very little ones run up to a soldier in uniform, thinking that the solder was their parent. Those moments make you realize how much children are impacted by war."

When Todd returned in July 2008, Braceland helped plan the FRG's arrival celebration for all 185 members of his unit. "I used civic time for planning the event," says Braceland. "It really made a difference to know I was being supported by MITRE."

Braceland recommends that anyone with a family relation or friend in the National Guard look into its family programs. "You can benefit from the great support offered by all involved."

—by Joan Sheldon

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